Promise Me Sammy
by staceycj
Summary: AU, What Dean wanted for Sam when he died. S3


Preoccupation was the constant state Sam Winchester was in. He had less than a month to save his brother from going to the pit, and every single second of his waking day and night was devoted to finding something, anything, to save his brother. Most of the time Dean just sat idly by, watching, with a small look of disdain, sometimes he would try to pry him from the computer and get him to do something else. Only a couple of times had Dean been successful in pulling Sam away from his research to go see a movie or go to a bar and just relax, but usually the phone would come out and he would start checking his e-mail, responding, or answering a phone call from a fellow hunter.

Dean stopped trying to get his little brother's attention, three weeks from d-day, stopped trying to get him to stop researching, and he focused on Sammy's future without him. He made a list and came up with all of the possible outcomes. Sam would keep hunting, Sam would go live with Bobby and be his research buddy, Sam could go back to school, become a lawyer, and be normal, never have to worry about this life again.

The idea of Sam hunting on his own scared Dean, terrified him to his very core. Sam had never been on a hunt alone, he always had either him or Dad with him, always someone at his back to make sure he stayed alive, or kept out of danger. So, hunting on his own was something Dean immediately crossed off the list. Next, he called Bobby, and discussed the last two options with the elder hunter.

Bobby assured him that he would keep Sam, and that he would be more than welcome to be his research buddy, because more and more hunters were calling and asking for help these days, and if he was honest, it was getting to be too much for him to keep his legit business running and researching for other hunters on the side. However, he warned Dean that he wouldn't keep the boy against his will, if Sam wanted to go out there and hunt on his own, Bobby was no match for the boy, no match for him physically or mentally, and he wouldn't be able to hold him, wouldn't be able to keep up with him, and he most certainly couldn't tell a grown man what he could and couldn't do. Bobby suggested that the last option was the best. But, he warned that Sam was in fact a grown man and that Dean couldn't force him to go back to school either.

"I can wrap that boy in a promise, and he'll do whatever is my dying wish Bobby. I think I can convince him that school is the right option, now who do I call to get documents that will hold up under scrutiny?"

He spent the next couple of days calling Stanford, finding out just how close his brother had been to graduating, and it was super close, his grades had been near perfect and he had some of the best LSAT scores the school had ever seen. Pride washed over him and then regret ran up his spine forcing the pride down and out. He was the one who drug Sam out of his little perfect cocoon of safe and normalcy; because he was scared, because he wasn't man enough to go look for Dad on his own. He still felt semi responsible for Jessica's death, he never told Sam that, maybe it was time to do so. It seemed like that perhaps now was a good time to just lay his cards out on the table, maybe Sam needed to know everything, because he was going to die, and he was going to Hell, and he was going to become a demon no matter how much he fights. He didn't want to leave nothing behind to remind people, or to let them know, that once the demon named Dean had been a good person, a champion of the underdog, a soldier, a son, a protector, a brother, a friend.

He squared his shoulders and made the call to the forger. His brother was going to get what he deserved all of these years but Dean had been too selfish to let him have.

******

"Dean, I don't have time, I'm onto something, I only have a week left. We only have a week left."

"Sammy slow down. I need to talk to you. Just for a minute. Remember me? You know, your brother, the guy you are hell bent on saving? Yeah that would be me. Stop. Just stop, you can go back to soul saving detail as soon as you hear what I have to say." Sam stopped and looked up at his brother. Dean cleared the bed and sat down and searched for the words.

"Here." He said and pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket.

"What is it?" he asked and looked at it as if it were a snake.

"Just take it."

"I don't want it."

"You want it Sammy. You want it."

"I don't want the Impala. You will need it, because I'm going to save you."

"This isn't just the title to the car. There is more. Please. Take. It." This was going to be more difficult and ultimately more painful than he had anticipated. After the stare down, Sam finally took the envelope.

He licked his lips and slowly opened the envelope. He pulled out a driver's licenses. It has his picture and the name was "Jared Samuel Dean."

"What is this?"

"The new you."

Panic filled his eyes. Dean was trying to disown him as well as die on him. "I'm Sam Winchester." He said defiantly. "There is going to be no new me." He started to hand it back to his brother.

"There has to be a new you Sammy. When I'm gone, you have to go back to school."

"I don't want to go back to school, how many times do I have to tell you that?"

"I don't believe you. You have to go back. I don't want you hunting when I'm not there to watch your back."

"I'm a big boy. I don't need someone to watch me like a child." Petulance and defiance creped into his voice.

"Sam. How many times in the last week have I forced you to go to bed?"

Sam gave him the look, the look that indicated he was pissed, Dean did his best not to roll his eyes. "That's different and you know it Dean."

"I take care of you Sam. And this is the last way that I can."

"What are you talking about Dean?"

"I want you to go to school, get that safe normal life you've always dreamed of."

"That's not what I want anymore."

"That's what I want."

"What?"

'That's what I need to know you are doing. I need to know that you are getting your law degree, settling somewhere and making a life for yourself. Not doing this. Not growing old with a .45 in your hand and salt lines on the floor. Everything that you need is in there, everything I want you to have, to be is in there. Sammy. This is truly my dying wish."

"Dean." Tears welled in his eyes. "Dean. I…I can't. I can't."

"Sammy you're stronger than me. Of course you can do this. You aren't like me. You don't have to have someone on you heels all of the time, you aren't someone who isn't anyone when their loved ones aren't there. You are Sam Winchester. You can do anything. I raised you that way."

"I don't want you to die."

"I don't either. But I would rather you live." Sam looked back down at the envelope in his hands. "So, promise me that you will go lead your new life JD?" Sam laughed a strangled laugh.

"You remembered JD Salinger is my favorite author."

"I did. Promise me Sammy?"

"I promise."


End file.
